Some days I feel like I would do anything to be young again. Not to be able to relive certain moments or to have a “do over”. I would love to be young again to be naïve, innocent, and simple. When you biggest worry was how to break up with your boyfriend or where the party was that night. (Sorry..those were my worries – maybe I partied too much but that is a different blog!)
The past several months there has been so much tragedy, loss, and sickness to so many people we know. I sit back and wonder if this is just part of growing up and unfortunately I think it is.
When I hear of these tragedies I just wonder why. Why them? Why now? Why? Why? Why?
I don’t believe God made my baby girl have a heart defect.
I don’t believe God choose to give cancer to our loved ones.
What I do believe is God is there to help us understand the why. Does he necessarily send us a message and one day it is clear, no. He helps us heal so we stop wondering why and we become at peace.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could learn life lessons without having to go through so much pain? In all reality I don’t think it is possible. I feel we have to be broken to be fixed.
Tragedy and difficult times will strike everyone at some point in their life, and unfortunately some more than others. We can never be prepared and we should not live life scared of when or where.
What we should do is make sure we are not too busy making a life that we forget to live it.
We need to make time to build or relationship with God just like we do our family and friends.
We need to stop worrying about the small things.
We need to wake up every morning (even Monday’s) and thank God for giving us another day.
We need to enjoy everything about those we love.
I am still trying to live life that way. It is hard. It takes effort each and every day and honestly some days I don’t have the energy too. I am trying.
Would I really do anything to go back being young again? Sometimes it sounds amazing. Other days I look back at what a different person I am now than before Adelyn and I thank God for the growth and changes he has made in me. When I think of where I was then and where I am now…I change my mind and wouldn’t go back. Those times may have been easier but these times are much more fulfilling.
Where my heart has been broken God has helped fill the cracks. I have found God. I have a purpose.