Children can teach us a lot of we are humble enough to learn from them. Through our experience Amelia has taught me so much.
“It will be ok.” Amelia got to meet her sister on the day she died. All we had communicated to her was that baby sister was very sick. Amelia sat on my lap and we held Adelyn as she was earning her wings. The way that Amelia looked at Adelyn was with so much love and she just keep touching Adelyn and telling her, “You will be ok.” (The love for her sister was captured so perfecting with the attached pictures. They were taken after Adelyn had passed away by Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.)
Amelia showed me true love. It was so raw, so natural, and the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. In that moment Adelyn did not look good. She was very swollen and Amelia looked right past that. Not once being scared, saying anything about the way she looked, and didn’t even ask any questions. She just kept touching her, kissing her, and telling her “you will be ok.”
I remember telling Amelia, “you are right, she will be ok.” Even though I was not prepared to say goodbye, I knew she would be ok. She would be better than ok. Adelyn had to fight since the day she was born and she was finally going to be free. Free of wires and cords, free of pokes and needles, and free of pain. She was going to be in heaven and that is better than ok!
“Why are you sad mommy?” Shortly after Adelyn had passed way we took Amelia back to the cemetery. It was a difficult day for Brian and I and we both were crying. Amelia asked us why we were sad and we told her we missed baby sister. She replied, “Yeah, we all do but we don’t need to be sad.”
Amelia you are so right but it is so hard. It is so hard for me not to be sad. It is so hard for me not to feel like I have a part of my heart missing. It is so hard for me not to think, I would do anything to have her here with us. All of those thoughts are so selfish and Amelia is right, we shouldn’t be sad.
We should be celebrating and rejoicing that Adelyn is in heaven. I will always be sad. I will always have a hole in my heart, a part of me missing. I will always wish she was here. BUT, I am trying to celebrate and rejoice. With Love Adelyn we are doing this and we are going to bring moments of joy to many people!
I often think about how different of a person Amelia is going to be because she has an angel. She already asks to go to the cemetery to talk to baby sister. Even though her sister is not here they are going to have such a special bond – one on heaven and one on earth!